Jail Break

Meet Cade...19 mos. old, ALL boy, and clearly very cute. I received a call a few days ago from Cade's mom (Misty) where she relayed her horrifying experience. The night before, Cade was put to bed in his very own room, in his very own crib, with his very own sippy cup. A few minutes later, Cade's mom heard a big thud and went upstairs to find her toddler playing on his bedroom floor. The mom thought "Aha! I will show him! I will lower the crib to make the sides higher so he won't be able to crawl out." So, Cade went through round 2 of his mom putting him to bed. After being in his crib a total of 5 minutes, Cade thought "I'll show my mom how tricky I am. She may have made the sides of my crib higher, but she made the bottom of my crib lower to the ground. I bet if I try hard enough, I can slide between the mattress and the crib sides and make it out onto my floor. Eureka! I did it!" Exhausted, exhasperated, and at her wits end - the mom hauled Cade downstairs into her room and made a bed for him on her floor. It was a successful night - a great sleep! Cade's mom woke up in the morning, looked on the floor where she had put her toddler to sleep the night before, but he wasn't there. She looked all around the room, but at 8 months pregnant getting down on her hands and knees were a little out of the question. In her frantic state, she enlisted the help of Cade's older brother, Colton, and sister, Kallie. The search was on...all through the house, outside where he could be anywhere on their vast 10 acres, and still no Cade. Just as the mom was ready to call in the Vernon Police Force, Colton calls out - "I found him mom!" There he was safe and sound underneath her bed behind the nightstand that her 8 month pregnant belly prohibited her from locating. The End.

Still sound asleep - Cade had no idea of the frenzy all around involving him.

This picture has nothing to do with the story, just that I LOVE my little buddy and it's very validating that he will take his mom her cell phone and say "Ashee, Ashee" and he doesn't stop until he gets to call me.

This Just In...

So, I don't know if any of my faithful readers have seen this or not,
but I am blogging about this as I just can't pass it up. Apparently, being a returned LDS missionary provides you the opportunity to audition for "Mormons Exposed" pin up calendar. Here is one such picture...please feel free to browse the web site and check out all 12 that made the cut for the 2008 calendar http://mormonsexposed.com/ However, the calendar is NOT the appalling part for me. Apparently, this story is news worthy enough to make it on 12 News - the NBC affiliate here in Phoenix.

Now, if I was still living in Salt Lake City, I would not be surprised that this story would be given air time because I am sure it would be such a scandel that most Utahns wouldn't know how to handle themselves. However, there are more people within the city limits of Phoenix than there is in the whole state of Utah. For more reading pleasure, here is the story on the calendar http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/ldscalendar0910-CR.html. I would like to point out the mighty justification as to why these young men put this calendar together, “You have five thousand wives or you’re inbred. Those are all the things people would poke fun at us.” Yes, I am sure posing in a calendar "exploding with sexuality" will dispel all those Mormon myths.

Tag Info

I have been stressing about this blog all day long...enough is enough and I am now confronting the inevitable. Here goes nothin...


5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:

1. Living in Salt Lake City for almost a year
2. Applying to the University of Utah so I could start in January '98
3. Working 2 jobs - office in the day - COSTCO @ night
4. Being the ward organist (most disasterous calling to date)
5. Preparing for my 24th birthday b/c I thought I was getting old

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:

1. Return items to Target and Old Navy
2. Vacuum the downstairs
3. Write this blog
4. Watch "The Hills"
5. Lay out by the pool in 115 degree heat & finish my book

5 Favorite Snacks:

1. Corn dogs from Sonic (borderline disgusting I know)
2. Roasted almonds (you can 12 for 2 Weight Watcher's Points)
3. Diet Coke (does that count as a food???)
4. Graham crackers w/ frosting
5. Fresh, ripe, yummy peaches that are so full of juice they drip down your arms

5 Songs I Know All The Lyrics To:

1. The Sound of Music soundtrack
2. "Inspiration" by Chicago
3. "Rodeo" by Garth Brooks (don't ask - just know that I am a really fun Auntie)
4. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix Alot
5. "Open Arms" by Journey

5 Things I'd Do If I Had $1,000,000

1. Buy a house
2. Give my sister Allison the money she needs for In Vitro
3. Have a large travel fund
4. Live in London for an undetermined amount of time
5. Buy myself a great diamond ring

5 Bad Habits

1. My addiction to trashy reality TV
2. Sleeping another 30 minutes after my alarm goes off
3. Going home after work instead of the gym
4. Thinking it's my responsibility to let people know when they're being ridiculous, annoying, and otherwise inappropriate
5. Not being more patient with people

5 Styles I Will NEVER Wear Again

1. Shoulder pads (especially the ones my mother continues to safety pin in her shirts that she's had since 1980)
2. Baby doll outfits
3. All the clothes I wore on my mission (need I say anything else???)
4. Those stupid peg legged jeans & the multi-colored scrunch socks you wore w/ them
5. White pantyhose w/ black shoes

5 Favorite Toys

1. Digital camera
2. My car - I can't stand NOT being mobile
3. I-Pod
4. TV
5. My cell phone

5 People Tagged

1. Mindy Udall
2. I don't have 4 more friends w/ blogs so I gues it's up to Mindy to pass it along to as many people as possible - Thanks Mindy!

Food, Folks, & Fun

Last Saurday night (Sept. 1 to be exact) I dined with my fun friends at an amazing authentic Spanish restaurant called Pepin. The excuse (as if we needed one) was to celebrate Annice's birthday as well as to venture out and try a new restaurant. The food was yummy - especially the Dulce de Leche cheesecake we had for dessert - and the entertainment fabulous. I have never been to Spain, but I understand that the Flamenco dancers that snapped their castenettas (?) that night are the real deal. Not bad for only having to drive to Scottsdale versus a plane ticket to Spain. On the other hand...experiencing a taste of the culture has made us all salivate with desire to hop the next plane & make Spain our next travel adventure.

Front to back - Left to Right (Heather, Dabrielle, Annice, & me)

PMS Band-aids

So, having a really rough night (OK, during the day too) of PMS. I know my PMS is getting bad when I'm feeling like "rage in cage" is going on inside of me and when I want to rip the head off of anyone who is bugging me. It seems as though I will be doing fine and then WHAM! the PMS hits and the next couple of days I declare myself toxic - which for some reason I dilude myself into thinking that actually owning up to my PMS state & being honest about it is somehow honorable.

My roommate greeted me when I got home tonight and she asked me how my day was. I matter of factly declared that "I'm pissy and don't know why. I'm pretty sure it's PMS (then I pulled out my calendar, counted out the days, and of course I was right.)" Her only comment was "I'm scared." Well damn it! She should be! I scare myself sometimes! So, is it an wonder that she just turns a blind eye as I down a Weight Watchers meal so I don't feel suicidal after I mix up a cake and proceed to just eat the batter until I am sick?! And - to add insult to injury - she sits on the couch recovering from her latest lipo surgery - to this I declare 'Bitch!'

International Mule Service

To your right you will see a picture of an Amish Mule
Team. Seeing as how I have been dubbed the international mule service for my darling sister Adrianne who has chosen to reside in Argentina, I am fast approaching the time where I need to expand from a single mule to a team of mules.

Recent conversation between sisters:

Ade: So, my husband has a new business idea and it involves you

Ash: What is it?

Ade: He's come up with the idea that we should do chocolate fountains at weddings - and guess what your part is?

Ash: Um...go to the weddings?

Ade: (laughing) Um no...it would be carting the fountain over here when you come in October.

Ash: What???

(here's where it gets really good...)

Ade: Don't worry - I think I have talked my husband out of the 100 lb. fountain and you will be bringing one much more manageable.

Ash: What!?!? (my volume has gone considerably up) There is no FREAKING way I am hauling a 100 lb. chocolate fountain to Argentina. There are limits to what this international mule will do - and a 100 lb. chocolate founatin is just that! You tell Mario it is OUT OF THE QUESTION! I thought the Kitchen Aid was bad - this would definately top it!

Please all you faithful bloggers that are aquainted with both parties...I need support in the international mule business. Doesn't anyone have plans to schlep down south anytime, ever again??? And, are willing to take parts of a 100 lb. chocolate fountain????

Some Things I Think Are Wonderful

Yes, in Oprah's vain, I thought I would return to blogging with a few photos of things I think are great. In order to be classified into the "great" category, the item/person/action must make me smile and otherwise appeal to my senses. So, here you go:

My latest pedicure adventure. Look closely, you will see an intricate argyle design hand painted - no stickers here! And, for an added bonus, the handpainting was just as cheap as a pedicure at my regular place.

Little boys who ride their rockin' horse as if they were cowboys in the wild, wild, west

My Michael Kors "Cha-Chi" shoes that my roommate found for me at Nordstrom Rack for only $35 bucks...she is such a good friend

5 year old girls who dress themselves - complete w/ their favorite pair of "high heels"

My cute nephew Cade w/ his navy blue Vans on

The lamp shade I just made for my friend Mindy's newly re-done guest room