Sweet Song of the South

The more I visit the south, the more I love it. I made the trek this year over the busiest weekend for travel and went to see my Lettie in Greensboro, NC. Aside from me being one of her early Christmas presents, I made the request that this time when I came that we go to the Biltmore House in Asheville, NC. Nola (Lettie's mama) promptly got online, bought our tickets, and reserved our time for Friday - the day after Thanksgiving - for the 9:00 a.m. tour. I know what you're thinking - 9:00 a.m. - perfect time - not too early and not too late. Well - let me mention that there is a 2 1/2 hour drive tacked onto that which meant we were out the door and on the road by 5:30 a.m. Followed by a 6:30 a.m. breakfast stop at Bojangles, we were back on the road and to our destination in plenty of time. Although the morning hour was tough - kudos to Nola for booking us that early. We beat the crowds, took our time w/ the audio tour, and explored every nook of the Biltmore House open to the public.

For those who have not been to the Biltmore House - it should definately be on your top 100 of places to go and things to see in your lifetime. I was very impressed with the structure itself, let alone the grounds and even the history of the Vanderbilt family. Since we were there after the Thanksgiving holiday, the house is decorated in all of its Christmas charm. I love Christmas anyway and this home draped about with lavish Christmas trim only made it more spectacular.

Nola, Lettie, & Me at The Biltmore House

Just some of the amazing floral arrangements in the gardens

The architectural detail of the home is completely astounding

Lettie in front of The Biltmore House in the early morn


No - these are not dog turds - these are the amazing southern delicacy known as hush puppies. I get them every time I go to the south for a visit along with their barbecue.

This is Lettie demonstrating the best way to eat a hush puppie - with your mouth wide open

It was a toss up between staying home Friday night & watching 4 of my nieces & nephews, or accompanying my fun friend Julie and her two girls to the Carrie Underwood concert. Thanks to her brother-in-law that won the tickets through a local radio station but couldn't use them - he gave them to her. So, she called me up & wondered if I would like to go & I jumped at the chance. Didn't know exactly what to expect - not familiar with a ton of Carrie Underwood - but I give the concert a big thumbs up...Miss Underwood has an amazing voice & she's a good entertainer. Plus, it was free. Even if I didn't like it I wouldn't be losing out on anything...it was a win, win situation.

The famous Carrie Underwood

Fun Friend Julie w/ her daughters Hayden & Zoie

Me w/ the real cuties of the night

All the girls...

Thanks Julie, Hayde, & Zoie for such a fun time!!!

Happy Halloween!

So - I know it comes as a complete shock that I am actually updating my blog, but it's true. Hey - there's been way too much going on in my life the last few months to worry about keeping with blog-dom. But, I am rejuvinated and here's the latest...


I manage a really great dental office - but great I mean I work with doctors and staff that totally get in to Halloween. Thus, I did a "slave trade" with Annette (my mom) and she sewed me this fantastic costume while I took care of things around the house. I also need to throw a shout out to my Uncle Ken and Aunt Jayna who tracked down their famous "Cher" wig & then shipped it to me...it totally made the costume.

Me as the Gypsey or as Dr Haak proclaimed "Madam Zora from the movie Big"

Dr. Haslam as the Chick Magnet & Dr Haak as Vanilla Ice???

The staff @ Gilbert Family & Cosmetic Dentistry that dressed up

The Cowboy Way

Meet Cade...2 yrs. old, exercising his individuality, and breaking all the fashion rules. However, I give him props for being such a trend setter & not caring about what others think of him. Really this is more of an act of independence and winning the show down I like to call "battle of the wills." I must tell you that his attire for the weekend was NOT a result of his mother dressing him, but rather his stubbornness to not be dressed. Finally the adults are exhausted from the fight to get him dressed and move on to other items that need attention.

This weekend I joined the Josh Smart family at their ranch. It was more of a "city slickers" experience for me, but I appreciate their patience and KNOW they must be desperate when they enlist my help.

I was assisting with the task of logging the cattle's ear tag number and vaccinating the new heifers born this summer. During a routine vaccination shot, a baby heifer got restless which in turn made me jerk my arm and the syringe I was using broke. So, I ran over to the tack barn to try and find new syringes. While in my haste, I was thinking out loud and talking to Cade (a.k.a. "Tud") and saying to him:

"Man Tuddy, I am so frustrated. I don't know if there are any syringes in here. Do you think I can find some?"

Tud's oh so honest reply was:

"Um, a cowboy could but you proly can't."

OK then - moving on. I ran back to my post as the "number logger" and reported to my brother and his wife that I was just schooled by their 2 yr old. Apparently you can only find what you need on the ranch if you're a cowboy. Duly noted by this "city slicker."

Can anyone out there top such a fashion offense???

Jamaica Me Crazy!!!

Just for the record...I have been trying to post this blog for the past 4 days now. I realize this doesn't excuse that last 2 months that I haven't posted, but maybe will explain why I don't post more often. That being said...on with the blog material...

I am in a stage right now where I am looking for a new & improved life. Thus, while in contemplation of what my next move is; I figured - why not go to Jamaica w/ 2 of my girlfriends and ponder while basquing in the warm, blue Caribbean waters and where "everything going to be all right mon!" So, here's what I learned while in Jamaica:

#1: It is impossible to be bugged, depressed, or in any other foul mood when you arrive to your resort & the view from room is this:

#2: Who wouldn't be in even a finer mood when the ocean you will be immersing yourself in looks this blue and is actually warm?

#3: When going to Jamaica or any other Caribbean destination, go to Target, Walgreens, or any other drugstore of choice and stock up on those plastic inflatible rafts that are approximately $2.50 in the U.S. That way you don't have to pay $20 each for them at the resort.

#4: If you're really appalled at paying $20 for the above rafts, get yourself a lifeguard boyfriend who will sell you rafts off the black market for 50% of the original cost. Thanks to Dabrielle, we were able to score our rafts for $10 a piece.

#5: When you are fair skinned & blue eyed, be prepared to be acousted by the locals ALL THE TIME...with very genuine invitations to bring you back to their house so they can make you dinner. As pictured below, the guy who invited me to return to his humble abode for a "true" Jamaican meal...clearly the dude is a creep out because when asked to take a picture with me (my friend did the asking) he felt the need to pose w/ his hand on my stomach...WIERD!

#6: When staying at a resort, be prepared to meet many local men with rather interesting nicknames. For example, my friend Heather had a dude by the name of "Steam" who was rather taken with her charm. On the other hand, the local below went the name of "Slick." He asked that I please email him a copy of this picture, of which I will not abide. However, he apparently offers tours of various Jamaican points of interest. If any of you are interested, let me know. He gave me his business card "Slick Tours."

#7: Be prepared that no matter how much sunblock you apply, reapply, and then reapply again, you will come away with noticable sun scorch. Just go with it & save for laser skin treatment later.

#8: When choosing a carrier to jet you to the tropical region of the earth, choose one that partners with the Ritz Carlton just in case your return flight gets cancelled. After spending all day in a stuffy, humid airport with the other 140 displaced passengers, collecting our luggage, having to go through customs AGAIN - it makes you appreciate (as pictured below) room service meals, comfortable bed, and yet again ocean views that are all too surreal...

Is it too soon to go back??? I think I hear the warm waters calling my name...

ANNETTE-ITIS

Maybe it's the fact that over the past 8 weeks I have been inundated with making invitations, planning birthday parties, baby showers, and preparing Relief Society lessons, but it's been a bit overwhelming. During my self evaluation periods, I wonder if this feeling of being over loaded is more self induced than anything. You see...I have this condition...I have inherited it from my mother and it has not only been passed on to me, but to my sister Adrianne as well. We're not sure what happened to the other 'Smart' siblings that seem to have bypassed this contagious epidemic, but I applaud them for escaping the nemesis. It's a condition I like to call "Annette-itis."

You know you have this condition if you find yourself preparing a Primary lesson on families and you decide that to illustrate this concept to the children you are teaching you will make them each a homemade doll. But wait, not just a doll representing them, but dolls representing each of their siblings. ABSOLUTE CRAZINESS!!! Or, you are given the task of making bridal shower invitations for your sister and even though you know you have to make 50 invites, you still go the elaborate route of grommets, 3 different kinds of paper, and endless printing which results in a midnight melt down where in your sister and your brother-in-law to be have to intervene and take over the project sending you to bed rather than committing you to the insane asylum of which may have been more appropriate. OR...it may also look like this:

A counter full of homemade sugar cookies because heaven forbid you pass out store bought cookies to the sisters in Relief Society

And then of course you have to package them just right so you can make a good impression

A shopping bag full of plastic Easter eggs all filled w/ the good kind of candy (not the gross kind) because you want to continue to win the prize of funnest, single Aunt a niece or nephew could ever have

Another elaborate invitation - this time for your brother's 30th surprise birthday party

Does this behavior warrant an intervention?

Transformation

Seriously, I just had a wild hair (literally), obeyed my inner impulsiveness, and chopped my hair. Here are the before and after photos...

Before

And after...

Yes, if you look closely you will also see that I apparently had an inner punck voice I was listening to as well and decided to go with some purple "peek-a-boo" color in my new hair. I am having regrets; I really did like my long hair - but I was also really sick of it. Plus, I keep reminding myself that hair grows - mine grows fast - and so I should enjoy the summer cut. Right? Anyone? Anyone?

Am I delusional, crazy, need meds so I don't listen to the voices inside my head, or just roll with it & enjoy it?

Failed Pregnancy Test

Due to the inability to say NO to my good friends, I have recently been roped in to becoming a test subject for grad students at ASU. These students are working on their MS in Nutrition and are doing a study on food and the relationship to activity levels (at least I think that's it.) I received an email from the advisor of the program begging for test subjects so that her students can graduate. Knowing that I can help someone further their education and get benefits from it sounded like a good idea to me.

The perks of the study allow you to get all of these really expensive tests done for free and they give you the read outs of your tests. One such test is a full body scan where they can tell things such as bone density, size of your bones, what your body fat percentage it (OK, I could TOTALLY do w/out this), etc. However, you CAN NOT be pregnant and have this test done as an x-ray like machine scans your entire body. Therefore, all females in the study must take a pregnancy test to prove they are not with child. I was no exception.

After having my height and weight taken, I was handed a little plastic pouch containing a pregnancy test inside. No directions mind you, just the verbal of "pee on the stick." OK, sounds easy enough - I can do this. Off to the bathroom I go, test in hand, and a bladder ready to burst. I urinate like no body's business all over the stick. I wait...I wait some more...a little bit longer and when nothing seems to be happening I decide to wash and dry myself and ask them if there is something I have done wrong. I walk outside the bathroom, stick in hand, and declare that nothing seems to be changing - no lines - thus I'm not sure if I used the right test procedure. The advisor of the students looks at me and says, "Oh, um you have to pull the purple part of the stick off and pee on the little white test strip." Are you freaking kidding me? So, of course I feel like a complete nimrod, but how the hell was I supposed to know? No directions, haven't taken a pregnancy test EVER in my life, and now I have an empty bladder.

I went back into the bathroom, gave it the ol' college try, but nothin'. After about 5 minutes of waiting, I gave up and went back outside. I told the advisor that nothing was happening therefore I wouldn't be able to give test results. However, I will attest to the fact that there is no way possible for me to be pregnant.

A signature later attesting to my claim and I am still in. Body scan done, and now I am an official guinea pig for the Nutrition Department at ASU. Lucky me...

Grandpa For Hire

During a routine family photo shoot, the following occurred:

1. Photographer: "OK kids look over here" - that's our queue. Parents & aunts alike start chodeling at all children present w/ the same goal in mind; to get all 5 grandchildren ages 8 & younger to look at the camera at the same exact time with most amazing smiles ever. This is what we got instead:

One enthusiastic grandparent thinking he is being the most helpful grandpa ever and he joins in on the loving heckling from the by standers in the hopes of the same outcome. However, he has clearly forgotten that he is being photographed as well. Now the yelps have turned from children focused to adult focused "Dad! Stop! You are not helping the situation AND you are in these pictures. The grandchildren start looking at him instead of the wierdos making funny faces & noises behind the cute lady with the camera.

Oh - but it gets better. Clearly Grandpa isn't getting the concept as he continues to be what he sees as completely helpful. This is what we wound up with...

This is my most favorit one yet...let me translate the look on Gabe's face:

"My American abuelo is NUTS!"

But, then you wind up with pictures like these next two and you realize all of the banter was well worth it.

Oops...She did it again

OK...So I know the whole Britney Spears I LOVE the paparazzi chasing me around, being admitted to the psych ward, thing is blown way out of porportion. However, while studying the latest issue of "Rolling Stone" while on my lunch break, I came across the most outstanding, couldn't be more true, should have been published WAAAAAAAY before now comment:

"Britney isn't America's sweetheart. She's an inbred swamp thing who chain
smokes, doesn't do her nails, and screams at people who want pictures"

So - here's to you author Vanessa Grigoriadis. Thank you for being a straight shooter & telling the public exactly like it is. Nothing like Amercia making an individual straight from the Louisiana swamp into a pop superstar who has a $10 million empire.

Thankful for my blessings...

Sunday re-cap...we all for went going to church and instead went to Khloe's blessing that happened at Misty's parents house. Here are some cute pictures of the "blessed" event.

Khloe's dad Josh

Khloe's brother Colton and sister Kallie

(who knows where the other brother Cade was)

Khloe's mom Misty

Just some cute girls I know...

Oh wait...here's Cade - totally bugged that he has to take another picture

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Yes, Christmas has come and gone once again. I always look forward to this special time of year and the traditions that get played out year after year knowing that my family will be together. This year was extra special as the whole entire Smart family was together for Christmas. There are a few posts to come of the joyous activities we spent doing together, but I have to start with this one. This is our first year attempt at the next generation of Smarts taking over the roles in the Nativity Story.

Meet Kallie. She is 5 yrs. old and was excited to make her debut performance as Mary, mother of Jesus. She is outfitted nicely, and wears a smile upon her face in the anticipation of making her theatrical debut.

Meet Cade. Clearly he is NOT happy about being a shepherd and continued to throw this tantrum until the blanket he is wearing as a costume was shed from his body.

These are wise men. This was the obvious choice since Mario & Gabe are of the exotic nature.

This is the Nativity post Tylenol PM and Khloe is also not thrilled to participate as baby Jesus.

I'm disappointed that this picture did not come out better. This is the one picture where all participants invloved were actually even tempered. The only way this was accomplished was by kicking Khloe out of the make shift manger and allowing Cade to fill in.

Oh happy times...it's great to have a new generation of Nativity participants as this yearly tradition occupies a substancial amount of my childhood memories.

The Return

So, I would like to point out that in my absence and right at the beginning of the holiday craze, I was:

...MOVING!!! Definitely on the top 10 of most annoying, physically taxing, and all the way around tiring tasks in the world. However, my new digs are great & I promise to give you a pictorial tour in the very near future.

...making flower arrangements and putting the finishing touches on many other projects in order to get the house in tip top shape as quickly as possible. Thanks to my OCD tendencies, I can't rest in disorganized messes. I must have order and everything neat and tidy. This is my first real attempt at floral arranging. All said and done, I am quite proud of my results and am more than thrilled to have saved hundreds of dollars.

...decorating for Christmas. Here is my puny little Charlie Brown tree which at Home Depot seemed much more substantial until I brought it home and put it in my barren, waiting to be decorated living room. But, it was a lovely touch that added Holiday Spirit to our new home.

It was also decided that we would host our annual Christmas friend get-together since we had the new house (funny how that qualifies you to be nominated for a lot of things you were otherwise able to by pass in the past). I admit that one of my favorite things about the Holidays is the justifiable excuse to eat processed meat. So, my contribution to the party feast was none other than my favorite appetizer...

...Lil' Smokies

Here's a table view of the delectable samplings we feasted upon. That's Dabrielle at the head of the table and Kristen is to the left.