Announcing...

...the arrival of my newest niece Khloe LaRae Smart. She is welcomed by mom, dad, Colton, Kallie, and Cade. I served as babysitter/auntie extraordinaire at home with Khloe's siblings while Khloe's mom, dad, and two grandmas were at the hospital anxiously awaiting her arrival. At around 3:00 p.m. on November 18, 2007 we welcomed Khloe into the world. She was 7lbs. 5 oz. 21 inches long. Here some pics of her first moments in the world.

Khloe LaRae Smart

Big brother Colton

Big sister Kallie

Mom and her girls

Cade checking out "baby doie"

Khloe's Nana & Grandpa

Sunday Tradition

OK, so I know I promised more travel updating, but this blog just can't be put aside. I want to let all of you in on the weekly Sunday tradition that happens at the Smart household (where the mom & dad reside.) It usually consists of the following players: Me, Lindsay, Dave, & Annette. (For unknown reason Matthew mysteriously disappears during this hour of the night & won't join the crowd in the family room.) We gather at around 5:00 for the dinner portion of the evening and then we lead in to the family room for another rousing episode of "The Amazing Race."

I don't know how many of you are avid fans, or even a fan for that matter, but our family has become hooked in a serious way. Our game of Phase 10 was even pre empted for the show Sunday night; which to Lindsay's glee was not resumed (she was losing by a landslide.) Aside from the competitveness, humorous anecdotes, and world geography our father (aka Dave) proffers a commentary to be rivaled by the world's best orators. For example, during team introductions his commentary sounded something like this:

The hippie couple where the male is sporting a disgusting aray of dread locks:

Dave: "Oh yuck! She has no taste!"

The lesbian minister couple

Dave: "OH - THAT IS EVEN MORE DISGUSTING! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LET THOSE DIKES ON THE SHOW!"

The blonde girls that resemble Malibu Barbies:

Dave: "Oh yeah...those girls have nice bodies and good attitudes. Boy, I do like their attitude."

Oh yes, this is but a mere sampling of the lively, energetic narrative that explodes out of the mouth of my father. For those of you seeking an entertaining time on Sunday evenings from 7:00 - 8:00 p.m. - you're more than welcome to attend. However, please know that you have been warned and that I nor my siblings accept any responsibility for offensive comments that make you feel uncomfortable. It's Dave - you just role with it.

The grandpa of the grandson/grandfather team decided to strip down to his unmentionables in order to give himself as much advantage as possible while pole vaulting across a canal.

Excuse #1

My second trek to Argentina as the international mule extraordinare was a success. Seriously, after 12 hours in plane rides, excessive luggage which required an additional $100 to be paid at time of check in, swarms of natives begging for money, and your taxi being rear ended on your way to your hotel was all made worth it by the first live site of the ever adorable Gabe. Don't get me wrong, seeing Adrianne after so many months always brings tears to my eyes, but let's face it - adults will always get trumped by cute, cuddly, smiley babies. Especially when their auntie's biological clock is ticking and can't seem to get enough.

The trip was amazing - as Adrianne has already mentioned in her blog. I however will break down the trip into more detail as she has left many anecdotes out (most of which include Mario. He seriously makes me laugh - in a good way.)

We started out in Buenos Aires where I continue to give the tango dancers props. In this trip I witnessed a woman dancing in the middle of the square in San Telmo all by herself until a kind, tango dancing gent joined her. I also send out snaps to the wrinkly, old woman who is not afraid to sport fish net hose, red pumps, and red lipstick well into what I can only guess is her late 80's. However, since I scouted Bs. As. pretty intensely my first visit, we only stayed about 24 hrs. and then took to the bus to Rosario to join the Reseks.

Sweet Baby Gabe

Heather peaking around to the front of our seriously overloaded taxi

Adrianne's pose in front of Mr. Estrada as the last name Estrada evokes joyous childhood memories of watching CHiPs (aka Eric Estrada who played Ponch)

The incredibly brave (or delusional depending on how you look at it) woman dancing solo in

San Telmo Square

You go girl...

My incredibly ugly, swollen, the dye rubbed off my jeans feet after our first day

Excuse Note

Dear Fellow Bloggers:

Please excuse Ashley from her long absence of blogging as she has recently beeng juggling late night visits from men in loin cloths, work travel to Utah, and most recently a 10 day stint visiting her sister and new nephew in Argentina. She is re-committing to her blog and will promptly bring her family, friends, and fellow sports fans up to date. If you have already "de-linked" her from your blog, she passes on no ill will but hopes that the blog break up is not permanent.

Sincerely,

Phantom Blogress

Kat, Me, and Page in UT

Dabrielle (co-worker/friend) & I posing on Main St. Park City

Jail Break

Meet Cade...19 mos. old, ALL boy, and clearly very cute. I received a call a few days ago from Cade's mom (Misty) where she relayed her horrifying experience. The night before, Cade was put to bed in his very own room, in his very own crib, with his very own sippy cup. A few minutes later, Cade's mom heard a big thud and went upstairs to find her toddler playing on his bedroom floor. The mom thought "Aha! I will show him! I will lower the crib to make the sides higher so he won't be able to crawl out." So, Cade went through round 2 of his mom putting him to bed. After being in his crib a total of 5 minutes, Cade thought "I'll show my mom how tricky I am. She may have made the sides of my crib higher, but she made the bottom of my crib lower to the ground. I bet if I try hard enough, I can slide between the mattress and the crib sides and make it out onto my floor. Eureka! I did it!" Exhausted, exhasperated, and at her wits end - the mom hauled Cade downstairs into her room and made a bed for him on her floor. It was a successful night - a great sleep! Cade's mom woke up in the morning, looked on the floor where she had put her toddler to sleep the night before, but he wasn't there. She looked all around the room, but at 8 months pregnant getting down on her hands and knees were a little out of the question. In her frantic state, she enlisted the help of Cade's older brother, Colton, and sister, Kallie. The search was on...all through the house, outside where he could be anywhere on their vast 10 acres, and still no Cade. Just as the mom was ready to call in the Vernon Police Force, Colton calls out - "I found him mom!" There he was safe and sound underneath her bed behind the nightstand that her 8 month pregnant belly prohibited her from locating. The End.

Still sound asleep - Cade had no idea of the frenzy all around involving him.

This picture has nothing to do with the story, just that I LOVE my little buddy and it's very validating that he will take his mom her cell phone and say "Ashee, Ashee" and he doesn't stop until he gets to call me.

This Just In...

So, I don't know if any of my faithful readers have seen this or not,
but I am blogging about this as I just can't pass it up. Apparently, being a returned LDS missionary provides you the opportunity to audition for "Mormons Exposed" pin up calendar. Here is one such picture...please feel free to browse the web site and check out all 12 that made the cut for the 2008 calendar http://mormonsexposed.com/ However, the calendar is NOT the appalling part for me. Apparently, this story is news worthy enough to make it on 12 News - the NBC affiliate here in Phoenix.

Now, if I was still living in Salt Lake City, I would not be surprised that this story would be given air time because I am sure it would be such a scandel that most Utahns wouldn't know how to handle themselves. However, there are more people within the city limits of Phoenix than there is in the whole state of Utah. For more reading pleasure, here is the story on the calendar http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/ldscalendar0910-CR.html. I would like to point out the mighty justification as to why these young men put this calendar together, “You have five thousand wives or you’re inbred. Those are all the things people would poke fun at us.” Yes, I am sure posing in a calendar "exploding with sexuality" will dispel all those Mormon myths.

Tag Info

I have been stressing about this blog all day long...enough is enough and I am now confronting the inevitable. Here goes nothin...


5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:

1. Living in Salt Lake City for almost a year
2. Applying to the University of Utah so I could start in January '98
3. Working 2 jobs - office in the day - COSTCO @ night
4. Being the ward organist (most disasterous calling to date)
5. Preparing for my 24th birthday b/c I thought I was getting old

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:

1. Return items to Target and Old Navy
2. Vacuum the downstairs
3. Write this blog
4. Watch "The Hills"
5. Lay out by the pool in 115 degree heat & finish my book

5 Favorite Snacks:

1. Corn dogs from Sonic (borderline disgusting I know)
2. Roasted almonds (you can 12 for 2 Weight Watcher's Points)
3. Diet Coke (does that count as a food???)
4. Graham crackers w/ frosting
5. Fresh, ripe, yummy peaches that are so full of juice they drip down your arms

5 Songs I Know All The Lyrics To:

1. The Sound of Music soundtrack
2. "Inspiration" by Chicago
3. "Rodeo" by Garth Brooks (don't ask - just know that I am a really fun Auntie)
4. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix Alot
5. "Open Arms" by Journey

5 Things I'd Do If I Had $1,000,000

1. Buy a house
2. Give my sister Allison the money she needs for In Vitro
3. Have a large travel fund
4. Live in London for an undetermined amount of time
5. Buy myself a great diamond ring

5 Bad Habits

1. My addiction to trashy reality TV
2. Sleeping another 30 minutes after my alarm goes off
3. Going home after work instead of the gym
4. Thinking it's my responsibility to let people know when they're being ridiculous, annoying, and otherwise inappropriate
5. Not being more patient with people

5 Styles I Will NEVER Wear Again

1. Shoulder pads (especially the ones my mother continues to safety pin in her shirts that she's had since 1980)
2. Baby doll outfits
3. All the clothes I wore on my mission (need I say anything else???)
4. Those stupid peg legged jeans & the multi-colored scrunch socks you wore w/ them
5. White pantyhose w/ black shoes

5 Favorite Toys

1. Digital camera
2. My car - I can't stand NOT being mobile
3. I-Pod
4. TV
5. My cell phone

5 People Tagged

1. Mindy Udall
2. I don't have 4 more friends w/ blogs so I gues it's up to Mindy to pass it along to as many people as possible - Thanks Mindy!

Food, Folks, & Fun

Last Saurday night (Sept. 1 to be exact) I dined with my fun friends at an amazing authentic Spanish restaurant called Pepin. The excuse (as if we needed one) was to celebrate Annice's birthday as well as to venture out and try a new restaurant. The food was yummy - especially the Dulce de Leche cheesecake we had for dessert - and the entertainment fabulous. I have never been to Spain, but I understand that the Flamenco dancers that snapped their castenettas (?) that night are the real deal. Not bad for only having to drive to Scottsdale versus a plane ticket to Spain. On the other hand...experiencing a taste of the culture has made us all salivate with desire to hop the next plane & make Spain our next travel adventure.

Front to back - Left to Right (Heather, Dabrielle, Annice, & me)

PMS Band-aids

So, having a really rough night (OK, during the day too) of PMS. I know my PMS is getting bad when I'm feeling like "rage in cage" is going on inside of me and when I want to rip the head off of anyone who is bugging me. It seems as though I will be doing fine and then WHAM! the PMS hits and the next couple of days I declare myself toxic - which for some reason I dilude myself into thinking that actually owning up to my PMS state & being honest about it is somehow honorable.

My roommate greeted me when I got home tonight and she asked me how my day was. I matter of factly declared that "I'm pissy and don't know why. I'm pretty sure it's PMS (then I pulled out my calendar, counted out the days, and of course I was right.)" Her only comment was "I'm scared." Well damn it! She should be! I scare myself sometimes! So, is it an wonder that she just turns a blind eye as I down a Weight Watchers meal so I don't feel suicidal after I mix up a cake and proceed to just eat the batter until I am sick?! And - to add insult to injury - she sits on the couch recovering from her latest lipo surgery - to this I declare 'Bitch!'

International Mule Service

To your right you will see a picture of an Amish Mule
Team. Seeing as how I have been dubbed the international mule service for my darling sister Adrianne who has chosen to reside in Argentina, I am fast approaching the time where I need to expand from a single mule to a team of mules.

Recent conversation between sisters:

Ade: So, my husband has a new business idea and it involves you

Ash: What is it?

Ade: He's come up with the idea that we should do chocolate fountains at weddings - and guess what your part is?

Ash: Um...go to the weddings?

Ade: (laughing) Um no...it would be carting the fountain over here when you come in October.

Ash: What???

(here's where it gets really good...)

Ade: Don't worry - I think I have talked my husband out of the 100 lb. fountain and you will be bringing one much more manageable.

Ash: What!?!? (my volume has gone considerably up) There is no FREAKING way I am hauling a 100 lb. chocolate fountain to Argentina. There are limits to what this international mule will do - and a 100 lb. chocolate founatin is just that! You tell Mario it is OUT OF THE QUESTION! I thought the Kitchen Aid was bad - this would definately top it!

Please all you faithful bloggers that are aquainted with both parties...I need support in the international mule business. Doesn't anyone have plans to schlep down south anytime, ever again??? And, are willing to take parts of a 100 lb. chocolate fountain????

Some Things I Think Are Wonderful

Yes, in Oprah's vain, I thought I would return to blogging with a few photos of things I think are great. In order to be classified into the "great" category, the item/person/action must make me smile and otherwise appeal to my senses. So, here you go:

My latest pedicure adventure. Look closely, you will see an intricate argyle design hand painted - no stickers here! And, for an added bonus, the handpainting was just as cheap as a pedicure at my regular place.

Little boys who ride their rockin' horse as if they were cowboys in the wild, wild, west

My Michael Kors "Cha-Chi" shoes that my roommate found for me at Nordstrom Rack for only $35 bucks...she is such a good friend

5 year old girls who dress themselves - complete w/ their favorite pair of "high heels"

My cute nephew Cade w/ his navy blue Vans on

The lamp shade I just made for my friend Mindy's newly re-done guest room

Tan Lines

It's summer time - we all have tan lines. Could be from the watch you wear everyday to the more exotic "I was in San Diego all weekend and I just laid on the beach." However, I witnessed a tan line that - quite simply - supercedes all others. I was running some errands on Saturday afternoon and happened to drive by a bus stop. There, perched on the bench awaiting a ride from public transportation, was a man with only his jeans on - no shirt. Now, this is not the peculiar part of the site - it's that he had a tan line in the shape of a WIFE BEATER! Now, I live in Arizona where temperatures lately have been in the 110's. It is too freaking hot for any human being to be out for extremem periods of time let alone enough time for this man to get a tan line from wearing his wife beater out in public. Which leads me to believe that the man sports his undershirt and thinks it should pass for an acceptable article of clothing. Stacy London & Clinton Kelly of "What Not To Wear" fame need to hunt this man down and educate him on appropriate attire!

Project Bathroom...

...this is what I have done w/ myself this weekend. I have been chastised by Adrianne that I need to update more often - yes, I know. So, I am making a pledge to you all right now that I will be much more on the ball & keep you better "blogged" w/ my thoughts, ideas, latest projects, travels, etc. Thus, here you have before & after pictures of our downstairs bathroom. My roommate (Heather) and I spent Friday night and a large portion of Saturday involving ourselves in a multi-step process to re-do our downstairs bathroom. The inspiration came from a $7 frame Heather bought in Guatamala last October - she just needed my pushing & will power to get it done. The frame is now the bathroom mirror & it looks fabulous. I would like all to note that I installed the bathroom light fixture all on my own - another "Smartha" accomplishment. This is but one of the many decorating projects that I have involved myself in lately; which, as most of you know, I am obsessed with.

before #1 - totally white & totally boring

before #2

Ta Da!!! The "after" makes all the manual labor worth it

We textured the walls w/ dry wall mud & put cut out embossed Fleur de Leis design wallpaper in the mud. Then we painted over the walls followed by rubbing glaze all over as well. This is a close up of what the walls in the bathroom now look like.

The bathroom light fixture I'm awfully proud of myself for installing

Spills R NOT Thrills

OK...so I realize that it's really only my family members (because they have known me their whole lives) are the ones that will understand the significance of this blog, but of course I think everything I have to say is entertaining so I hope all who stop by will at least find some humor.

That being said, I don't know what it is, but I have been such a clutz my entire life. I am one of those persons that will be walking along minding their own business one minute, and the next I will be on the ground. Case in point - I am walking out of work on Monday night listening to my phone messages. I am walking through the parking lot - even surfaced asphalt - and the next thing I know I am down for the count in the middle of the parking lot looking at a scraped up knee (see photo.) And - let's not forget - the mother of all clumsiness on my behalf - the kick boxing incident of last September where I wound up with a spiral break in my right ankle that has left me permanently with a plate, 7 pins, and a lovely 4 inch scar up my leg (see other photo). My list could go on and on, and I am sure that I wouldn't even begin to remember all of my less graceful moments in life. However, my question is DOES IT EVER END??? I am a (nearly) 34 year old woman that still has what I term "playground episodes at recess." These things happen to the 8 year old girl in pig tails playing at recess w/ all of her friends - NOT ME! Then, as though reality does not want me to forget, I am met yet again with another humbling, tumbling experience.

Scar on ankle - post kick boxing accident

My knee post wipe out in the parking lot

Heads Carolina - Tails California

Not really sure how the whole thing started, but it's lasted. You see - Curtis is what is deemed as"the big brother I never had." It all began one Utah autumn eve when I went into Costco Wholesale to interview for a job. Curtis had the dubious job of interviewing me, hiring me, and also being my boss. My first impressions of Mr. Harms were that he was more than a little full of himself, but as time wore on we became friends. He was the one showing up on my door step late at night w/ a huge tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream after I had a really, really bad day, dance on top of the filing cabinet inside the vault @ Costco just to get me to laugh, as well as poke me with a fork exclaiming "You are done!" when referencing the current boy I was dating (which of course no one was ever good enough). Life has trampled on finding Curtis in North Carolina with his wife, two kids (Meghan & Trevor), and Emily their 16 year old Dalmation. One commonality that continues to exist between Curtis & I is our love for roller coasters. Thus, we spent the day at South Carolina's Carrowinds Amusement Park and relived the thrill of speed, jerky roller coasters, and the liberating feeling of screaming at the top of our lungs.

And They're Off...

So - many of you know that I have been going through a delayed adolesence experience otherwise known as adult orthodontics. After nearly 3 years of treatment - it's amazing to me how these pearly whites look. Better yet - it's such a nice feeling to eat food and know that you have not stored another meal in the metal brackets adorning my enamel. Thus, in celebration of such a life event, I believe that it is my duty to indulge in all foods that abstained from during my reign as an obediant patient. So please, everyone, bring on the caramel popcorn, toffee, cheetos, and anything else gooey that would otherwise be an orthodontic nightmare (who cares if it's swim suit season!)